_Monday, February 28, 2005*

good and bad...

geesh. o levels results were finally released today, the rumours were true. ms leong was saying how disappointed she was and yah, guess the standards did drop... but they're not totally at fault. the previous batch really got outta-this-world results. it's tough to improve on their already exceptional standards. things were bound to drop. what goes up must come down... either way, my year's batch are still gonna suffer till the o's are over. if last year's batch pushes the standard even higher, we'd be pressured to perform well to keep up the standards... but if the opposite happens, we'll be pressured to push the standard up. so both ways, we're still on the so called temporary losing end.

saw all my hb seniors again! whoohoo!! missed them like craps. the twins, shanice, xingyee, meihong... oh mann... if only they were still here. still remember all the fun times and all the times that the encouraged us. the very hilarious times when we would laugh till we cried. they're all sooooo smart... arghhhh... so jealous. lol. the hall was filled with a mix of tears, smiles, disappointment, over the moon girls jumping up and down, fears, joys, everything! and next year... it'll be our turn. ='( oh well, for the time being, wish me luck for tomorrow's chinese oral. hope i don't get a mind block. =X

*- amanda scribbled at 2/28/2005 06:04:00 PM

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_Saturday, February 19, 2005*

childhood innocence... and very contradictive parents

omggg... haha! i actually dreamt of mr yau, mrs chew, some other teacher(whom i can't exactly recall now), ver(why are you in my dreams??? lol!) and some other people whom i've no idea who they are and i've no idea why i dreamt of this stupid emaths test... lol. freaking weird and bizzare dream.

oh wells. i was thinking back on some events which happened when i was young... thinking of how a few friends could be to close to me then and yet so distant now. how nice it would be if i could go back to my childhood, where everything was so simple and uncomcomplicated.

i still remember the times when my dad frequently brought me(my bros weren't born then) over to his secondary school clique's home for any sort of gathering. amazing that they still keep in constant contact with each other... all 4 or 5 of them. there they'd stay till past 1am reminiscing on their secoundary school days(my mom and dad dated since sec4- but why are they so worried about me getting a bf now?? btw. i do NOT have a bf.) and gambling(poker, bundluck[erm. spelling?], blackjack and etc).

and the kids... there was me, alex and abel. we all knew each other since we were toddlers!!(at that point of time, siblings did NOT exist.) so the 3 of us were like the only kids around. things then were so simple. lol. nobody would have any suspicions that i was interested in any of them even if i kissed them. which i did once... =X wait i'm not done yet... UNDER THE PERSUASION of my parents. and they even took a photo.(-.-) but i've no idea where it is now. whahaha! so don't ask to see it. see... such contradictive parents. they'll like freak out now if i do that. lol. i was so darn innocent when i was a child XP

i still remember how fascinated i was when alex tried and successfully managed to convince me that he could communicate with walls. yah... i was that naive. lol. he scribbled something on the walls with a yellow highlighter and pretended he could talk through it. so for almost the whole time we were running around his house scribbling. lalala. i also remember how he got scolded by his mom for that. x) haha! silly fella.

things were so fun then... but now, we hardly even know each other. after those few fun and innocent years... we began to grow up... now it's just a 'hi' and 'bye' situation. we hardly even speak to each other unless our parents include us in their conversations, which currently happens all the time. but now, we aren't as carefree and frank as we used to be. feel so restricted. in the past i could just say anything i wanted to without having it go through my mind before it came out. now, people scrutinise every single word you say and whatever stand you take. oh well. something happened over one of their CNY gatherings that made me type this post... but what happened i'm not gonna include it here. haha.
ok think this is long enough... sigh.

i really missed all the fun times we had together. =S

*- amanda scribbled at 2/19/2005 10:12:00 AM

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_Thursday, February 10, 2005*

was it you who changed, or is it just me?

the chinese new year's here again! so... for tradition's sake, Happy Chinese New Year to one and all. well here we are again, going from one place to another visiting abababababaababab (long time not ccccc-een) relatives. haha! ok. lame attempt to be funny. oh wells. it's so nice to see relatives and friends again.

i just realised that many of my relatives, the older generations of course, are dying off... one by one... it's sad to see them go just like that. each year, there're lesser people to visit, lesser money to collect... :'( [OK! BUT THAT'S DEFINITELY BESIDES THE POINT]. seems like as i grow older, the more time i'd spend in hospitals... sad but true. oh well, at least i do know that they're safe with God... with problemless lives, having the time of their 'lives'. hmmm, wonder what they do in heaven... o.o i'd really want to find out. when's my time??? i'm waitingggg... anyway, don't know if i'd be ready. oh bother... nobody gives a damn to whether you're ready or not. it's either you are or you're not. and most of the time it's the latter. no prizes for anyone who guesses where the catchphrase 'Expect the unexpected' came from.

really miss some of those who kicked the bucket... some of them being rather close since i was young, showering me with utmost care and concern... they're probably one of the very few people who carry out their actions from the bottom of their heart. they sincerely let their actions speak louder than words... so loud that they're gonna echo through the rest of my life. these people probably have spent more time with me than what my parents have. that's just only the beginning... to me, they've definitely made a bigger impact on my life than what no other human can. not even bush winning his second term... ok... that was kinda random. i still think he shouldn't have gotten it though. oh well.

like the saying goes... People won't remember you for who you are, but what you did. bleh... time that i get back to reality... HOMEWORK. argh.

*- amanda scribbled at 2/10/2005 09:28:00 PM

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_Tuesday, February 01, 2005*

UPDATE!!!!

oh man... it's already the 1st of february. one months's already over... and that sure didn't feel like 31days!! it all went by too fast. just too fast to enjoy.

my days've been packed like an exploding sardine can. handbell... tuition... tuition... handbell... handbell... drums... golf... homework... tests. i'm like rushing here and there. it's so hard to find time to go out!!! i want tako pachi, i want sushi, i want to go to swensens, i wanna play tennis, i wanna bowl, i wanna watch shall we dance, finding neverland and the aviator!! looks like i just found neverland... so sorry to tracy and serene and julia and ah ma!!! i really wanna go bowling!!! but my stupid schedule is stuffed like crap. can't wait for next week's class gathering. =D gonna be such a good break.

just watched the second episode of desperate housewives yesterday... funny and interesting show. it might seem to have an exaggerated plot but it's definitely a pun on daily lives in developed countries. the show did touch on how freaking caught up we are with our own lives that we hardly take note of what's happening elsewhere. further more, the story's narrated in a third person view, a dead person's view in fact. pokes even more mockery to reality. seems to be driving the message that you'll only slow down and look after you're dead. when you're alive it's just go, go, go, go, go.

each character portrays at least one general human trait... though highly exaggerated, the show blows up life to the largest font available... it's like viewing eensy weensy tiny versions of us through a microscope. some common themes are on family, love, lust, greed, and relationship bonds between people. some ideas might appear farfetched but actually are more common than expected. it's a great show to watch... maybe while watching it, you might think some characters are just so stupid. oh well, it's great to laugh at yourself. sheesh. gotta study ss now... ciao.

Oh! By the way...
Happy Birthday Ethelyn!
thanks for the great bbq X)

*- amanda scribbled at 2/01/2005 03:50:00 PM

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